


May the Chat Group Be With You

by The Stars are Warring (the_Sagest_brush), the_Sagest_brush



Series: Jo Writes Star Wars stuff [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon? Timelines? Lol what's that, Group chat, I got hung up on the concept and so I never got to plot, Idk I just had a mighty need and then I didn't stop, Literally any clone trooper could potentially show up at this point I've set a precident whoops, People just kind of show up... and then disappear into the void, There is no structure, This is deffo inspired by other people who have done the group chat thing and actually had a plot, chat fic, only me laughing at my own jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23669998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Sagest_brush/pseuds/The%20Stars%20are%20Warring, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Sagest_brush/pseuds/the_Sagest_brush
Summary: So I was considering writing a fic and then I got distracted by the concept of the clone commanders having a group chat and... well here we are.Initially it was just commanders and then I realized I wanted more. So now it's just the Clones have a discord server and sub chats and its chaos.There is no plot, War? What war?No pain, only shenanigans.
Series: Jo Writes Star Wars stuff [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878931
Comments: 61
Kudos: 250





	1. A little Murder; As a treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumb jokes
> 
> Also, a chance to use what I think is an excellent group chat name for my boy Thire

Odd; So I guess General skywalker just murked a seperatist Admiral

RExtra; General Skywalker can have a little murder. As a treat.

Codes; Pretty sure he fucking cannot because he’s a Jedi, But ok

Odd; Codes can I have a little murder as a treat

Codes; … I want to say no

Odd; :( Why not?

Codes; I have a data sheet right in front of me “People who are and are not allowed a little murder as a treat” and you are not.

Greg; Me?

Codes; Not Allowed

Greg; But whyyyyy :(

Codes; Reasons

Thired of your Shit; What are the qualifications to being entitled to murder

Thired of your Shit; and do I have them?

Codes; Y’know what, you’ve put up with Yoda for 2 and a half years - You can have some murder

Thired of your shit; Hallelujah

Wolf; Ok I’ll bite where do I fall on this list

Codes; No

Wolf; eXCuSe mE??

Codes; On the grounds that you do murder anyway and thus should not get any as a treat

Wolf; hey the yellow protocol droid got back safe and sound.

Codes; … Actually you’re right thats fair, you can do one murder as a treat

Wolf; >:)

RExtra; Where do I fall on this list? I have to put up with Skywalker

Codes; Absolutely fucking not

rExtra; I thought you _sympathised_ with me

Codes; Skywalker would back you up if you did a murder, you don’t need a treat

Foxy; What about me Codes?

Codes; No

Foxy: :(

Codes; Why are you all so sad about being told you can’t murder people, you already know it’s illegal

Thired of your Shit; Being entitled to just, ‘Deal With’ the next annoying piece of shit I come across is a very encouraging thought

Wolf; What Thire said

Codes; Disclaimer I’m not doing any of your paperwork if you get arrested after performing your murder.

Greg; I think we’ve missed something

Greg; Cody are You allowed a little murder as a treat?

Codes; Officially? No

Codes; Unofficially? You’ll never prove anything

_Codes has logged off_

Odd; WHAT?

RExtra; EXCUSE??

Greg; @Codes GET YOUR ASS BACK ONLINE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF

Wolf; Nice

Thired of your Shit; Very Nice


	2. Fox needs assistance. And also a nap

Foxy; What would I have to do to get one of you to come and break my arm or something?

B L Y; Why the fuck are you asking?

Foxy; Senate duty

Foxy; Again

Wolf; This is what the fourth time this month?

Foxy; Sixth actually. Almost caused a diplomatic incident last time because apparently Certain Senators I Am Legally Obligated Not To Name don't like clones and as it turns out - I dont like them either.

B L Y; That's valid

Foxy; So if someone could just break a couple of my bones I'm pretty sure that would be less painful than dealing with the Senate again. 

B L Y; ..... Less valid - more worrying

rExtra; No actually Fox I think that is the most relatable thing I've ever heard you say

Foxy; REX, Vod, hey - Remember how you wanted to kill me last time you were on Coruscant? 

rExtra; Ah sorry, shipped out yesterday morning

Foxy; Dammit

Foxy; Maybe if I cause a small diplomatic incident they'll just put me back on prison duty for a couple of months

Foxy; I mean that also sucks but at least I can shoot at prisoners if they decide to run around screaming obscenities at me and my Vode

Wolf; @Codes Hey can Fox have a small diplomatic incident as a treat?

Codes; Why are you tagging me it's the middle of the night.

Codes; Ah, K - I'll get my spreadsheet

Foxy; why does Cody get to decide this?

B L Y; Marshall commander perks

Wolffe; Also it's more fun to consult the spreadsheets.

rExtra; Hold on are these spreadsheets actual documents that Cody has on a datapad?

Wolf; .... It's Cody what did you think they were?

rExtra; I don't know I just assumed that he made it up like a normal person

Codes; I have to do something with all this free time I have in space

rExtra; So you make spreadsheets????

Codes; You shoot at shit in your downtime which is the equivalent of taking a vacation from your job to do your job so I don't think you're one to talk there Rex 

B L Y; This is true

Foxy; So can I cause a diplomatic incident or not - I need time to plan and my shift starts in 2 hours

B L Y; ..... Fox have you slept

Foxy; Caff exists for a reason Bly and that reason is Officers who pass their paperwork off to me because apparently I have nothing better to do than forge signatures for three hours.

Foxy; Cody can I do the thing or not

Codes; Yes.

Foxy; YES

Codes; But you have to have had at least 4 hours sleep beforehand

Foxy; FUCK

Foxy; @Thired of your Shit Thiiiiireeeeeee 

Wolf; Damn Fox you sure about this?

Foxy; I'm desperate

Foxy; @Thired of your Shit Pleeeeaaaase 

Thired of your Shit; Fox. I just got to sleep. I'm Going to Murder you.

Foxy; awesome

Foxy is offline

B L Y; Uh

Wolf; This is fine right?

Thired of your Shit; I'm not going to murder him if that's what your asking

Thired of your shit; I might choke him out though 

Wolffe; That's fair

rExtra; Forced nap

Thired of your Shit; Ye


	3. Ponds has Entered the Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just realized I hadn't added Ponds yet so here he is, causing chaos.

_Pond has logged on_

Pond; I’m distracted for 2 days and you all start deciding who can and cannot murder people????

rExtra; Technically Cody decided

Odd; Cody may have also confessed to a murder but that’s unclear

Codes; I didn’t confess to shit

Pond; Yeah see that’s not what surprises me

Pond; What surprises me is that we’re letting Cody decide?

Odd; … Ok so what went on in Alpha training that NONE of you are surprised by the concept of Cody murdering someone. 

RExtra; I also would like to know

Greg; Yeah actually, can you people spill?

Codes; First of all, literally all of us went to kamino’s murder school and are trained soldiers. Why is it shocking that I might have killed someone. 

Codes; Secondly, Ponds, I am wounded that you don’t think I’m an appropriate person to adjudicate who does and does not get murder

Pond; …Need I remind you of the Wire Worm incident.

Codes; I was a CADET Ponds.

Pond; And?

Codes; AND the wire worms had nothing to do with my ability to judge who can and cannot murder

_W_ _olf has logged on_

Ponds; It had everything to do with judgement though.

Greg; Tell me more

Codes; PONDS I SWEAR

Wolf; Oh this is a good one

Codes; SHUT UP WOLFFE

Pond; Well Gregor, y’know how the lower levels of Kamino are always getting broken down by the salt water?

Codes; PONDS I WILL TELL THEM ABOUT THE FROGS

Pond; You wouldn’t DARE

Wolf; RIP Ponds

Wolf; So anyway the Kaminoans were experimenting with ways to re-enforce the bulkheads and they came up with these life-forms they called wireworms.

_B L Y has logged on_

Codes; WOLFFE DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR FIRST TIME IN A BAR?

Codes; BECAUSE I CAN AND WILL SHOW THEM

Wolf; You definitely do not still have those holos

Codes; Oh I definitely do still have those holos and everyone in this chat is about to have them too unless y’all shut your mouth.

Wolf; The wire worms are not the only story I have on you Codes. I could also go with Kirin Tapal.

Codes; Only if you want the Vitra Ke debacle broadcast to the 4th battle army

Wolf; We have to work together eventually do you really want to be the reason those holo’s leak?

Codes; I’m Marshal commander I don’t have to work with you for the rest of the war.

Wolf; I have decided not to speak to you anymore

Greg; Bly can you tell us about the wireworms?

B L Y; Honestly - I don’t want to know what Codes has for blackmail on me so no. 

Codes; I see Bly is a man of sense.

Pond; Oooooooooo WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON BLY CODES 

Wolf; Wait no, I’m speaking to you again what’s in Bly’s blackmail file Cody? Why’s Bly afraid of blackmail?

Codes; Why isn't Bly afraid of Blackmail tbh

B L Y; First of all RUDE

B L Y; And also bold coming from the inventor of the Jorgan spring

rExtra; the _WHAT_

Codes; Oh you want to play that game Bly?

Codes; You think you can succeed where Wolffe has failed?

Codes; Sarlacc.

B L Y; HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT

Codes: Marshal commander perks

B L Y; I’M NOT EVEN IN YOUR ARMY

Codes; I can look at info on other armies if I want to.

rExtra; I feel like I’m learning so much from this conversation

— Oddball has created a channel —  
— Oddball has named the Channel “Non alpha squad bois” —

  
Odd; I love it when Ponds enters the chat

rExtra; It’s like when Fox and Thire get going but less salty and more _dramatique_

Greg; I need popcorn

Odd; They still haven’t answered the Alpha Squad question though. 

Greg; git em

  
— Main Channel —

  
Odd; So since we’ve established that Cody has blackmail material on all commanders present who know about said wire worms - 

Odd; WHAT HAPPENED IN ALPHA TRAINING THAT Y’ALL JUST EXPECT THAT CODY COMMITS MURDER

Greg; REVEAL THE SECRETS

B L Y; What happens in Alpha training stays in Alpha training

Pond; Suffice it to say - Wolffe and Kote are the same brand of feral bastard but in opposite directions

Wolf; I resent that

  
Codes; I also resent that

Wolf; We are nothing alike

Pond; You are literally clones

Codes; >:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> This is purely me word vomiting because sometimes I need to write dumb stuff so I can focus.  
> I hope you have enjoyed it so far. I'm leaving it unfinished so I can add chapters when the mood strikes me.


	4. Hostile Takeover Or; Using Peer Pressure to make the commanders take a nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commanders; NO FEAR
> 
> The Medics; Hello
> 
> The Commanders: ONE FEAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one Kinda got away from me and... It's long and unwieldy and I don't even know any more because the formatting is a bastard so I barely edited. Hopefully it makes sense.
> 
> It was gonna be mostly Kix roasting Rex and then it wasn't so... Maybe he'll roast the ARC's next chapter we'll see.  
> Also shout out to Tarnera for suggesting Kix in the first place because for some reason he hadn't even occurred to me yet and that is a crime. 
> 
> Since, there aren't any canon medics besides Kix I invented some because I didn't want him to be lonely. 
> 
> For Reference;  
> Golden Boy = "Goldie" Cheif Medic for the 212  
> Dragon Teeth = "Krayt" Cheif Medic to the Coruscant Guard  
> Exoskeleton = "Exo" Cheif Medic to the 91st reconnaissance (Pond's Corps)  
> No Fear = "Jumper" Cheif Medic to the Wolfpack.

_CT 6116 has logged on_

Headcase; OH NO

Greg; IS THAT KIX??

_CT 6116 has changed their name to “Pumped up Kix”_

Pumped up Kix; Yes

Pumped up Kix; Thought I’d see what had Rex so distracted he walked into a wall yesterday.

Odd; Lol

rExtra; HEY

rExtra; CODES WAS REVEALING HOW MUCH BLACKMAIL MATERIAL HE HAS IT WAS DISTRACTING

rExtra; Also, so much for Squad loyalty you just outed me to half the GAR Kix.

Foxy; I’m so sad I missed that

Pond; the blackmail discussion or seeing Rex walk into a wall?

Foxy; Both

rExtra; Kix look what you've done

Pumped up Kix; I regret nothing. _But_ I'm also not here for you Cap

Pumped up Kix; @headcase

Headcase; …hi kix…

Pumped up Kix; Hello “tore three ligaments in my ankle, _and then ran away from the medi_ c.”

Pumped up Kix; Nice to hear from you

Foxy; Yikes

Echolocation; H- Hey Hardcase what the fuck

Headcase; ……I have no explanation

Pumped up Kix; I thought not

Codes; @headcase I’d tell you to start running, but at this point, it’s probably better to just sit down and accept your fate.

Pumped up Kix; Listen to the marshall commander Hardcase. 

Headcase; Would it help if I said I have realized the error of my ways and am very sorry?

Pumped up Kix; Maybe a little. I’m sending a couple of the other medics to get you. But if you put weight on that ankle again I _will_ sedate you. 

Headcase; ok yeah that’s fine. It hurts worse now so I’m just gonna hang out here. 

_Headcase has logged off_

Pumped up Kix; So anyway

Golden Boy; KIX 

Codes; Oh no

Golden Boy; KRIFFING FINALLY

Golden Boy; @Dragon Teeth @Exoskeleton @No Fear Hey lads guess who finally logged on

Amongst Roses; … Oh No

No Fear; KIX WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG

Pumped up Kix; ……Jumper have you Met my battalion 

No Fear; Have you met mine? And I was still on here before you???  


Dragon Teeth; KIX! HEY! HOWS LIFE WITH THE 501st

Pumped up Kix; Well I’m happy to report that although they’re all kriffing disasters they’re mostly alive so-

No Fear; Lol

RExtra; Excuse me, we are a very functional battalion Kix

Exoskeleton; _Doubt_

Golden Boy; I mean are any of our battalion’s functional?

Codes; HEY

Greg; RUDE

Odd; Guys no that’s fair

Golden Boy; Odd Ball you’re my favourite

Odd; :)

Echolocation; I feel like the Coruscant Guard is at least Mildly Functional. 

Amongst Roses; Aw thanks

Dragon Teeth; Oh. Oh honey no. Let me be the one to disavow you of that notion. 

Foxy; Ahahahahahaha I’m in danger good bye

Dragon Teeth; Actually this isn’t even one on you Fox

Dragon Teeth; Yesterday Thorn got shot by a gangster, fell two and a half stories off a roof, and tried to “walk it off” 

Fiver; Damn

Dragon Teeth; Sprained ankle, four broken ribs, 2 cracked ribs, a concussion and a minor tear in a ligament in his knee.

Odd; ...Ouch???

Dragon Teeth; The only reason I got him to medical is that he just about passed out when he finally tackled said gangster and a couple of the shinies panicked. 

Codes; Ok What the fuck Thorn

Amongst Roses; I’m Fine Tho

Dragon Teeth; You’re lucky you didn’t puncture a lung is what you are

Dragon Teeth; Also I thought I told you no screens

Amongst roses; chissk

_Amongst Roses has logged off_

Pumped up Kix; Git ‘im

Goldie; _Git ’im!_

Exoskeleton; **_GIT ‘IM_**

Dragon Teeth; I have confiscated the dik’kuts coms. Thorn will not be online for a while because he has a concussion as previously stated. 

Pumped up Kix; Yeah it's about that point I generally sedate them

No Fear; Actually that sounds like a great idea

Exoskeleton; Can confirm, works great for keeping them in bed where they need to be.

Dragon Teeth; Y'know I might just.

Foxy: Uh

Codes; THE MEDICS ARE UNITING

Pond; FEAR

Goldie; Oh Also.

— Golden Boy has added Pumped up Kix to MedLads —

Golden Boy; Welcome to the subchat where we don’t have to deal with the non-medical peanut gallery all the time. 

Pumped up Kix; Nice

Dragon Teeth; Also where we plan our hostile takeovers but anyway

Pumped up Kix; Oooh When do we do those?

Golden Boy; Generally when someone’s online who won’t get their ass to medical and we need everyone else to peer pressure them into going. 

Dragon Teeth; I mean you saw how fast Echo and Cody jumped on Hardcase

Pumped up Kix; True that was actually great. 

Pumped up Kix; and the marshal commander no less. 

Golden Boy; It’d be even better if said marshal took his own advice sometimes but anyway

Dragon Teeth; Look who’s talking

Exoskeleton; Lol

Golden Boy; NO SELF AWARENESS IN MY SUB CHAT 

Dragon Teeth; So anyway yeah Hostile takeovers are when we need to bully the Dik’kuts who think Caf is a food group and sleep is for other people

Exoskeleton; … So each other.

Golden Boy; EXO WHAT DID I JUST SAY???

Golden Boy; This sub chat is for Hypocrites only

Exoskeleton; For Context Kix, before you logged on we were comparing notes on Caff intake.

Exoskeleton; Its early rotation for me yet so I'm only on 3, but Jumper's on what 6?

No Fear; Six cups so far yes.

No Fear; I might actually get a chance to sleep in about 45 if I hold off on the 7th.

Dragon Teeth; 4 so far today.

Goldie; 9 I think but I'm also off shift now so... No more for me.

Pumped up Kix; I mean _today_ I've had 4 cups.

Pumped up Kix; Since I last slept - Lets just say it's a few more than that.

Exoskeleton; _Concern?_

Pumped up Kix; Eh assignment's almost over I can sleep in space

Golden Boy; Fair

No Fear; So - Anyone in the middle of a firefight or can we hostile takeover so we might actually get some time in the group chat where the commander's _aren't_ causing drama?

Exoskeleton; I'm Game

Dragon Teeth; Ready and Waiting

Golden Boy; Kriff _yes_

Pumped up Kix; Lets do it!

— Main Chat —

Pond; Sooooo Exo's still online but isn’t talking anymore

Greg; ……Wait do the medics have a subchat?

Echolocation; I just looked and - All the medics are online

Fiver; The medics absolutely have a sub chat

Foxy; What are the odds they’re just hanging out?

Colter; Yeah No - I’m in medical and Jumper has That look on his face again… RIP

Wolf; Oh no

Pumped up Kix; We’re back from the sub chat!

RExtra; Oh No

Exoskeleton; We have prepared something for the commanders (And Rex)

Codes; Oh NO

Golden Boy; It’s called

No Fear; top ten reasons

Dragon Teeth; you should

Exoskeleton; Go

Golden Boy; The

Pumped up Kix; FUCK

No Fear; To Sleep

Dragon Teeth; Complete with evidence from the last three days :)

Foxy; I’M IN DANGER

_Foxy has logged off_

Greg; |Several people are typing…| Hope y’all are ready for this because I sure am

Wolf; NOPE

_Wolf has logged off_

Fiver; 'nother one bites the dust

Codes; |Several People are Typing…| Y’know what. I know exactly what I have done wrong according to Goldie in the last 62 hours and I’m just gonna call it here. Good night.

_Codes has logged off_

r _Extra has logged off_

_Thired of your Shit has logged off_

Fiver; And another one gone and another one gone

Pond; Cowards

Greg; |Exoskeleton is typing…|

Odd; |Exoskeleton is typing…|

Hook Line and -; |Exoskeleton is typing…|

_Pond has logged off_

Fiver; ok PLEASE tell me someone else was standing close enough to get Holos of that because

Fiver; _Dread.jpeg_

Echolocation; I’m saving that forever holy Kriff his FACE

Fluffy boy; _Cody Nopes.gif_

Fluffy boy; I’m trying so hard not to cackle on the bridge right now. The Commander just excused himself and walked out, and General Kenobi looked so confused I’m in TEARS

Odd; Wooley you’re my hero

Echolocation; I didn’t know the commander knew what fear was omg

Hook Line and -; _Doin’ me a scare.gif_

Hook Line and-; I know he’s got his helmet on but…

Fiver; HE SMACKED HIS COM SO HARD I’M DYING

Greg; HE TRIES TO TURN AND WALK AWAY LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED SOMEONE HELP ME

Odd; SO @Pumped up Kix @Exoskeleton @Golden Boy @Dragon Teeth @No Fear How does it feel to be lords of the group chat?

Exoskeleton; >:)

No Fear; >:)

Dragon Teeth; >:)

Golden Boy; @Pumped up Kix That’s a hostile take over.

Pumped up Kix; Firstly I can’t believe that worked. I just saw Rex walk into the barracks for the first time in three days.

Pumped up Kix; Secondly, I will thrive off this high for WEEKS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not making any promises about any of this, it'll happen or it won't. Probably just gonna be left unfinished until my hyper fixation on star wars fades and then I'll mark it complete. 
> 
> (Deffo aiming for fewer commanders more CT's next chapter though so more Torrent more Ghost company Yay!)
> 
> Also THANK YOU FOR THE KUDOS AND THE COMMENTS I love you and I'm glad you're enjoying whatever the frick this is :)


	5. A Totally Theoretical Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the commanders are away the Arcs will play (with Jetpacks) and everyone else will be chaotic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. 
> 
> But no, I'm back with more so-so clone group chat content that I barely edited. Enjoy?  
> More Torrent and Ghost company this time, though not a lot of new clones. 
> 
> This isn't super long or coherent but it's what I've got and it's posted now... It'll prolly get edited tomorrow. Sorry guys. 
> 
> Shout out to Moonwatcher 404 for the idea of Jetpack shenanigans which was where I started and then there were 3 dozen tangents and it got away from me as usual.

Fiver; So. This is a… Totally Theoretical Question.

Fluffy Boy; …Ok?

Fiver; How does one use a Jetpack

Pumped up Kix; NO

Fiver; Rude

Echolocation: Come on Kix, let the man ask a question

Pumped up Kix; Fine. But if I see EITHER of you in medical I’m going to revoke your privileges

Jemsee; Our privileges to what? 

Pumped up Kix; E tu Jesse???

Fiver; Jesse's an Arc now We've corrupted him >:)

Goldie; Well there goes Torrent's last sane trooper

Echolocation; Excuse you _I'm very sane thanks_

Tupperware; hmmm

Jemsee; hmmm

Pumped up Kix; Hmmm

Echolocation; Ok so you're all traitors

Fiver; Hmm

Echolocation; _Especially you Fives_

Fiver; Well you're worse than I am.

Echolocation; I AM NOT

Pumped up Kix; You are actually

Echolocation; Name one time

Tupperware; |Pumped up Kix and Fiver are typing...|

Pumped up Kix; That time on Geonosis with the grenade comes to mind

Fiver; _AND_ That one time we had to with the droid tank? on Felucia? where you just kriffing slid under the tank, and tacked on a couple of detonators and then remembered that there was _a whole squad of super battle droids behind the tank_

Fiver; So you Karking _tackled a super battle droid and used it as a shield until the tank blew up._

Echolocation; You're the one who's always telling me to be more adaptable.

Echolocation; I _adapted_

Fiver; THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT

Dragon Teeth; _Force_ Kix how do you survive these idiots

Pumped up Kix; Spite mainly

Pumped up Kix; Also @fiver @Jemsee @echolocation for the record if you get injured playing with Jetpacks I'm a) going to make you take bed rest for a week and b) tell captain Rex about your stash of contraband.

Jemsee; D: Kix!

Pumped up Kix; And on that note, I'm going to the Medic sub chat so I can have deniability later.

Fiver; OK SO

Fiver; Who knows how to use a Jetpack? I need good instructions so I can keep my Candy and not get assigned bed rest.

Greg; The key to jetpacks is to Not Explode. Beyond that, you just kinda shift your arms/shoulders to steer —nothing to it. 

Greg; Also, what will you trade for some of that candy?

Fiver; Unless you have access to a very specific Alderaanian bakery that's not happening bud

Greg; :( see if I ever volunteer information to you again.

Jemsee; Back to the matter at hand - Does anyone besides Gregor have jetpack advice because his doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. 

Greg; Hey it’s accurate.

Jemsee; Anybody? At all?

Fluffy boy; I’d suggest the Commander but uh. 

Fluffy boy; Yeah Goldie is giving me a death glare from across the caf so hahaha That's not Happening

Hacker Skillz; MY TIME HAS COME

Hacker Skillz; SO first thing, make sure your gauntlet link works _before_ you put the pack on. The faster you're going the more stable you'll be, but there will also be more drag, so keep that in mind and don’t drop your shit. 

Hacker Skillz; Also, it’s gonna take a while to get used to steering so practice in an open area, the farther off the ground you are the more time you’ll have to course-correct before you hit the ground so get above the treeline before you try and do anything fun.

Jemsee; Ok, sure yeah that makes sense

Wax-on; Crys, how do you just… know this shit

Hacker Skillz; Because I fix stuff. Sometimes that stuff includes jetpacks. I need to be able to test the stuff I fix to make sure that it is, in fact fixed. Hence, if I have fixed it, I can probably run it.

Fives; Note to self - make friends with more mechanics

Tupperware; Note to self - warn mechanics to stay away from Fives

Hard-Boiled; Good call

Fiver; Hey now.

Tupperware; `\\(-_-)/`

Echolocation; A'ight talk amongst yourselves we're gonna go try this

_Echolocation has logged off_

_Fiver has logged off_

_Jemsee has logged off_

Hook line and -; so who do you think will do best?

Boosted; My money's on Echo - crazy enough he probs won't freak out but also knows how to follow instructions

Hard-Boiled; I'll say Jesse.

Greg; Reasoning?

Hard-Boiled; It'll bug the Domino boys

Greg; Good point, I'll go with Jesse too

Wax-on; Boil could you _please_ get off coms and pay attention to the breifing?

Hard-Boiled; fiiiiiiiine

Wax-on; Also, my money's on Echo

Tupperware; Ok to my eye they're _all_ bad at this but w/e I guess.

Fluffy Boy; Hey Tup any chance you're close enough to get us holo evidence of this?

Tupperware; UUuuuuUuuuUh Yes? Hang on.

Hacker Skillz; Noice

Greg; More material for the blackmail folder.

Fluffy boy: >:)

Odd; Cody would be so proud.

Fluffy boy; Hey Odd Ball! How's it going?

Odd; Eh, just another long kriffing flight...

Tupperware; Jetpacks1.vid

Fluffy boy; Yooooo

Greg; Hey they're actually not doing too bad!

Hacker Skillz; I mean none of them have exploded yet so there's that

Odd; I mean Jesse's form is probably the best.

Hacker Skillz; Yeah but he should get higher off the ground.

Boosted; Tup are you in a tree???

Tupperware; Noooo. Why would you think that, of course I'm not.

Tupperware; Yike

Tupperware; Ouch.vid

Greg; Welp.

Boosted; Unfortunate lol

Odd; What happened? My signal shorted out and the vid won't load

Fluffy boy; Fives ran his face into a tree

Odd; Oof RIP

Hard-Boiled; Did he have his bucket on? (I can't watch the vid or Waxer will yell at me)

Boosted; He did

Hard-Boiled; Hmmm

Tupperware; Fives is fine, btw. Currently laughing at Echo and Jesse 'cause neither of them stuck the landing to go see if he was ok.

Hacker Skillz; So are they giving up or?

Tupperware; No no they're back at it again. I'm filming don't worry

Greg; Yeah. One thing I will say for Torrent, they don't tend to give up.

Hacker Skillz; That's true

No Fear; Anyone dead yet? Kix wanted someone to check on the main chat.

Boosted; Don't think so. Fives probably has a black eye or something but other than that all still living

No Fear; Cool cool

Tupperware; Look at these fools

Tupperware; Stunts.vid

Greg; Bruh

Hacker Skillz; Ahahahaha that landing was ROUGH

Hacker Skillz; Well, they'll probably get it eventually

_Jemsee has logged on_

Jemsee; I See You.jpeg

Tupperware; Whoops

Jemsee; I presume y'all have been watching us through our Esteemed But Not Stealthy vodika?

Hacker Skillz; His vid skills are pretty good actually

Hacker Skillz; Ah Kriff I'm being summoned to the hanger. Why do people keep breaking shit.

_Hacker Skillz has logged off_

Fluffy Boy; Oh damn Tup you're a _long_ way up that tree.

Tupperware; It was the best vantage point I could find on short notice.

_Fiver has logged on_

Fluffy Boy; Fair

_Echolocation has logged on_

Fiver; THIS IS AWESOME

Hard-Boiled; How's ur face Fives

Fiver; Better looking than yours is. Thanks

Hard-Boiled; idk it might not be after it got so close to that tree.

Hard-Boiled; And also the ground. Not the most graceful of landings.

Fiver; Sure but have you ever flown a jet pack Boil?

Hard-Boiled; Have you ever run a stealth mission that didn't end up in something exploding?

Echolocation; like 80% of our stealth missions are _supposed_ to end in something exploding Boil

Hard-Boiled; Uhuh and how many times have you exploded something that wasn't supposed to explode?

Tupperware; Oh here we go

Fiver; It was ONE KRIFFING MISSION BOIL

Echolocation; LET IT GO

Hard-Boiled; No

Boosted; You guys have this argument like every 3 weeks can u not

Fiver; It was like a year ago

Hard-Boiled; Six months. And maybe I will let it go if you admit Waxer and I saved your shebs.

Echolocation; We had it under control

Hard-Boiled; You Did Not

Fluffy Boy; @Wax-on Aren't you guys on a mission or something?

Hard-Boiled; what the hell Wooley

Fluffy Boy; `\\('-')/` Stop reviving dead arguments in the group chat

Wax-on; BOIL 

  
Hard-Boiled; WHAT

  
Wax-on; Pick on the ARCs _later_

Wax-on; I would like to not have to drag your sorry carcass back to base when you knock yourself out by walking into a karking tree 

Hard-Boiled; You are No Fun 

Wax-on; I learned it from you 

Hard-Boiled; -_-

Echolocation; Lol

Odd; Way to break up a fight there Wooley

Fluffy boy; We only have so much time on the chats before the commanders start to log back on and I don't want to deal with the ARCs and the Scouts bickering for all of it.

Tupperware; Actually tho

Echolocation; theview.jpeg

Odd; Nice holo there Echo.

Echolocation; This is actually great

Greg; Wow texting and flying already. Someone likes to live life on the edge

Jemsee; It's not that hard

Tupperware; Not to break up the party but I just saw Skywalker heading this way

Tupperware; Not that he'd yell at you, but... He'll probably want to try or something

Fiver; Or he'll try and modify the jetpacks

Echolocation; HARD PASS on that

Jemsee; Hey Skywalker's a great mechanic

Echolocation; Yes but with my luck, he'd modify the jetpack so it has a personality or something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jetpacks will probably return. As will the medics who I wanted to use more but I just was not super inspired to write tonight. 
> 
> Again, shout out to y'all who have commented and left Kudos I appreciate u just... So Much
> 
> Work is kriffing busy lately so I don't have quite as much time for chaotic clone content, but I don't think I'm done with this quite yet so if you have suggestions lemme know. I'll see what I come up with.


	6. the COMMANDERS are AWAKE (or me laughing at a really dumb joke)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So - You ever get a sudden flash of inspiration and HAVE to write something? Yeah, that was this chapter. and the inspiration was a really stupid joke I grew up with so.... enjoy?!
> 
> Featuring Gree! because somehow he hasn't appeared before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... In case you had a different upbringing than I did - this is loosely based on the following joke
> 
> A first mate of a Viking ship comes and speaks to the crew who are rowing since there is no wind. "Well I have good news and bad news lads"  
> "The good news is - double rations of grog and food tonight." The crew cheers and the first mate waits till they quiet down.  
> "The bad news is that the captain wants to Water ski"
> 
> (The loose implication being that the crew must row fast enough for said captain to waterski....)

Gree: Hey @Codes? Can I borrow Oddball

Codes: What? Why?

Gree: I just need someone who understands what I mean when I say ‘17 wants to waterski.’

Codes; omg no

Wolffe: Holy Kriffing hells how does every clone in the GAR not know about that?

Gree: THAT'S WHAT I SAID

Odd: Fuck that’s an old joke

Wolffe: Odd that was an actual real event. You Were There.

Odd: I’m not denying that - it just turned into a joke afterwards

REXtra: Does that mean what I think that means???

Odd: I mean I can’t read your mind but yea probably

Greg: You went Surface skimming on KAMINO?

Odd: Lol yup

REXtra: How have you all decided I’m the insane one - that is nuts

B L Y: Yeah but you weren’t directly trained by 17, so we’re always surprised when _you_ do dumb shit

Fiver: Are you guys, Ok?

Codes: We’re perfectly fine, what are you talking about?

Echolocation: Honestly the more I hear about the Alpha program, the less wild ARC training seems

Fox: Yeah, they toned it down a bit when General Ti started overseeing things.

Wolffe: The original alpha program was an experience

Fluffy Boy: We’re getting that impression yes.

Greg: I’m pretty sure I’m glad I missed it

Codes: I mean based on what you’ve said, the commando program was about on par

Greg: All the more reason

Odd: So back to the matter at hand can I go terrorize the 41st Codes?

Codes: Just clarify for me one more time why this is necessary?

Gree: I’m just tired of my pilots looking at me like I’ve lost my kriffing mind

Odd: Valid

Codes: They’re looking at you like that because you’re insane

Gree: Takes one to know one

Gree: Can I have Odd or not

Odd; Look if Codes doesn’t approve the request I’m coming anyway.

Gree: I knew I could count on you

Odd: I would never give up the opportunity to go surface skimming with some shinies

Codes: Y’know what yeah, fine, whatever, go nuts 

Codes: but if you crash your ships you have to go to @Foxy for requisitioning

Foxy: Excuse Me?

Gree: Don’t worry Fox I’ll find you a present to make up for it

Foxy: Absolutely Not

Gree: Come on I gotta repay you somehow

Foxy: Repay Cody I don’t want to have to deal with you using military shipping channels for your “Presents.”

Gree: :)

Foxy: GREE NO

Gree: Gree yes.

Foxy; Hold on

Foxy: @Codes Why am I participating in this argument?

Foxy: Why am I the one you’re passing this off to????

Codes: I don’t want to deal with it and Bacara’s not online.

REXtra: You mean you picked Fox for the Drama

Codes: What? No. Of Course Not. I would Never.

Foxy: @Codes I hate you

Codes: <3 

Wax-on: So that’s what happens when all the commanders aren’t short on sleep

Hard-Boiled: hmmm Don't like it

Golden Boy: Yeah I think we may have to stagger this from now on.

Pumped up Kix: Agreed


End file.
